I accidentally had phone sex last night
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Randomize
