Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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