If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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