Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
