and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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