But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
