Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize