i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize
