Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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