We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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