He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
