He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
