You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
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Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
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I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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