She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize