Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
