Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
