The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
