I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Panties = found
Randomize
