I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
