hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
