so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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