good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
