I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
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