dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
