I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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