Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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