Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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