i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
