Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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