You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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