he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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