She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Text me some of your sweat
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
