when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Just high enough for therapy.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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