All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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