we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
