I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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