I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
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