ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
