Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
