i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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