I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
foreskin is a definite game changer
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
