worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
