I look better un-naked...
i can't believe i had my finger in that
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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