great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
