i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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