hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
The power of my boobs compel you
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
