She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
