apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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