I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
