we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
