I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize