the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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