we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
