that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
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