discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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