Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Randomize
