8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
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I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
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You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
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He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
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