Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
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By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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