my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Randomize
