just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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