pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
