Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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