Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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