just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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